Yeah...I want this shirt.
It started way back when...my friend Donna (Dayne's Mom) dropped the trilogy off on my dining room table.
"Er...Donna...why is there pornography on my table"
The table generally being reserved for the genuine article.
TMI?
ANYWAY...
So, I read the trilogy. Fairly interesting storyline. Juvenile writing. Less than inspiring BDSM scenarios. In short all three books could have been edited harshly and condensed into one fairly good read. Months and months then passed and the series never really crossed my mind again.
Until Monday...and the call from my friend came saying,
"Okay...we have an appointment with Mr. Grey on Wednesday!"
Do what???
"Come see 50 Shades with me on Wednesday"
Seriously?
And so off we went for a Wednesday Matinee in Avon and Steak and Shake. Nothing quite like an afternoon of Mommy Porn and Junk Food with a Good Friend.
Actually, hilarity ensued before we even left the drive. Donna had let Dayne use her car for work...and was driving his to the show. Imagine stepping into the car and seeing a huge coiled tow-rope taking up half the back seat.
Yeah...take a minute and let it sink in. Bondage movie.
Half a seat full of rope.
After laughing ourselves silly and contemplating the reactions to dragging it into the theater when we arrived...we did the next natural thing...we phoned Dayne.
He laughed his ass off...said we were disgusting and added that we weren't allowed to go anywhere else alone again...EVER.
And probably phoned Chris and told on us when he got off the phone.
Kids.
Then there was the whole "walker issue".
"I swear, Donna...I am going to walk in behind you with my eyes downcast and when they look at the walker I am going to mutter something about you being a really harsh bitch and say loudly- How the hell do you think I ended up like this?"
So plied with junk food...we finally arrived.
The film?
Much better than the book...but nothing stellar. Maybe a 5/10 rating. The actress for the role of Anna (Dakota Johnson) did an exceptional job and was perfectly cast. Sadly, I can't say the same for Jamie Doman, who played Mr. Grey. Although he had the physical attributes...his face and affect were just wrong. The face could have been improved with maybe a well groomed mustache and beard. He was too boyish. He needed hardened a bit. Pardon the obvious pun. More...well..dominate. His affect was too soft for the hard core dominate he was suppose to be playing. I just couldn't take him seriously. The BDSM was...well to use Mr. Grey's own vocabulary "Vanilla". If you see this film and you are shocked by the tiny bit of rough-play exhibited here...do yourself a favor and never delve further into the realm of real BDSM or...well...you are going to have a STROKE.
Trust me on this.
The Cinematography was exceptional. Using colors and camera angles to add to the story/feeling. A great opportunity for a flashback sequence to Mr. Grey's traumatic childhood WASTED...as he sat at the edge of her bed while she was sleeping talking out loud about those events. It would have added so much to the film if they had faded to a good flashback. There was amazing Seattle at night from the air photography...just beautiful. And an afternoon of Ultra-Light Plane footage over Georgia that was breathtaking, as well.
They did a nice job portraying his ambivalence at getting involved with Anna...and she did an incredible (believable) job of her character's innocence in the beginning. As you could watch her hardening...you could see his character "feeling more" becoming...which is, of course, what the entire Trilogy was about.
I guess I should have expected it...being a Trilogy and all...they ended the first film where the first book ended, and did a good job of it. Anna walking out of Christian's life angrily.
So, there will be two more films.
I'll catch those online.
One afternoon in the theater with Mr. Grey was more than enough...
and, sadly, found lacking.
The loaded cheeseburger and greasy onion rings and REAL fountain Coke were exceptional, though...and I'm thinking of painting the bedroom red...lol!