A Beachside Cup

Well...the oldest boy is settling into beach-side life well.
 Already sending back those photos of the outside temp is 85 degrees...or "Mom, everything is green and beautiful here and I am outside in shorts and NO SHIRT." Making the transformation from Hoosier to Floridian.

Also only about an hour or so from our Middle son...and they have already exchanged calls and soon to get together. And yes...a visit after he gets situated is in-the-works!

Working out the details (CS, visitations,et al) with the kids and both Moms have assured me ample "Grandma Rose" time. Going to sit down with them and work on Valentines stuff...for both the Moms and Dad. Everyone agreeing that what is most important is the well-being of the kids. And a new photo-collage of both girls and Brenden sent by Donna.

Kelly sent the details of Dwight's funeral...including quite a few of the Texas members who were there...played music...they even had Dwight's acoustic guitar on a stand at the front by his coffin.

~The half hour before the service was a once-around 'circle': Mike, Stan, an MP3 of Al's piano song, Raf, Tom with Robert back-up, then Robert solo.  Then Sue and I joined, and the whole group did the opening song, Amazing Grace.  The pastor shared some words, then one of Dwight's daughters, and finally uncle Milton.  We ended with the whole group again, doing Old Rugged Cross.  There was some recorded music and then Mike did some instrumentals during the final viewing and exit of the casket.

I didn't get to thank the church's sound guy, Lance, but by all accounts, he made us all sound great.  

At the graveside, there were some more prayers and comments by the pastor, then several people shared their memories of Dwight.  I read some sent in by Cea.  Bev's sister (?), who has a good voice btw, sang two verses of I Have Decided To Follow Jesus.  We closed with an a cappella reprise of Amazing Grace.

I'm sure everyone felt the same as me: it was an honor, both to serve and comfort Dwight's family with music, and to represent all the RMMGA musicians who were so dear to him.  ~

 He was an amazing person and we will (all) miss him. 

A Snow-Filled Cup

                                        Mackinac Island in the Snow

  Woke to the dawn breaking pinkly on the fresh snow.

If pink snow isn't nice...well....as Vonnegut would say "I don't know what is."

E-mails and Funeral arrangements for Dwight. Although I won't be flying in...I am going to pick up a David Austin rose to plant in Spring in remembrance. Beverly pretty much on auto-pilot right now.
I've been there. Reality comes later.

Reality.

There is a concept worth exploring, today. I remember the E.R.A. days...and the early 70's feminist movement. Equal Rights. Sounded like a noble cause. Until you really stopped for a minute and examined it up close.

I always had a problem with the Feminist Movement, anyway. You could BE anything you wanted to BE...as long as they agreed with it.

Career woman. OK
Stay at home Mom. Not Okay.
Happily Married and a Homemaker: Way Not Okay (...and you were being subservient/exploited...and possibly were too stupid to know you were being both.)

Corporate Suit: OK
Sexy dress and 4 inch heels: Not Okay.
Employment in any Venue of Adult Entertainment: Way Not Okay (...and the admonishment that you were being EXPLOITED and possibly were too stupid to realize you were being exploited.)

In short...they were keen on you doing whatever you wanted to do...as long as THEY approved of what you wanted to do.

 And if you were a Happily Married Homemaker or (heaven forbid) a Stripper...well something was obviously WRONG. 

For the record. I wholeheartedly support the Lily Ledbetter Act.

Anyway,

(...there is a point to all this...)

 We broke a huge glass ceiling this week. Only a fragment of the Equal Rights battle. And one (in my opinion) we will stop and rue the day it shattered.

Today we have sanctioned "Women in Combat Roles"...and can our daughter/grand-daughters (...exactly like our sons mandatory at 18...) registration be far off?
What happens if the draft is reinstated?
For the women who want to be in a combat situation...this is wonderful news, I suppose.

For the rest...this may truly be a case of "be careful what you ask for...because, well- you might just get it".

An Evening Cup

 

Lost a buddy late last night.

Sometimes there isn't enough words- or coffee.

 Dwight was a husband...a father...a teacher...a musician and an amazing friend. For the past year or so the doctors would give up on him, but Dwight would keep on going...bouncing back again and again. An inspiration to me. The Energizer Bunny. In the last few months he had gotten much weaker...very tired.  A group of friends from the Gathering who live in the Austin/Dallas-Ft. Worth area have spent the past couple weeks visiting at the hospital...bringing guitars...playing (both for him...and when he felt strong enough...with him.) We talked on the phone. Through it all he remained amazingly upbeat. Our last conversation centered around the music, Bill, "pot brownies"-(something he was sure was a cure-all), and ended with "I love ya, guy."

It would be our last conversation.

Al...who was the creator of the Texas Gatherings...and remains the organizer has proposed the beginnings of a Memorial Wall since in the last few years we have lost quite a few...Chris Rockliffe...Pete Gay...Ed and Sharon...Bill...Don Lewis...and now Dwight.

Ken (another friend) reflected on something his mother said when she was in her 90's...

                                  " ~all my friends are dead.~ "

And the older he gets (he says)...the more he realizes the weight of that statement.

                                     RIP Dwight. 

You will be missed...and remembered.


So our musical Family surrounds Bev now as she picks her way through the earliest fog of widowhood and grief...and going to be there to guide her to DS later...when she reaches that point. Softly blurring the line between my "families". 


And "Family" we are.  106 of us, last count.

An incredible thing...morphing from a DS group and strangers to ties that bind almost closer than blood at times. Strangers who shared the most traumatic loss of their lives...chaos...and tears...until finally we re-emerged to the place where "life goes on"...only now we are brothers and sisters instead of strangers. Moving from DS to a private FB group. And Gatherings...seems like everyone is always heading somewhere for a mini-gathering of sorts. Iowa. Vegas. Chicago. Indiana. A long weekend in Missouri with Betty (...at her Redneck Training Camp...) A Cruise planned in April and West Palm Beach with Diane and Sal. A small group headed to Africa...where Gail proves how dodgy the electric can be as well as giving everyone an Introduction to the local wildlife that will take refuge in your house during the rains. Another group this week to Hawaii.  And I thought I used to travel a lot.

 The enormous Pennsylvania Gathering...and YES Vicki...I will be there with bells on... where a collection is being gathered for Dave in the UK...in Darleen's brilliant

"Send a Brit to The States"

 endeavor.

His pub tab alone may single-handedly save our US economy! 

And since Ralph is making his way via Hummer from Colorado...I see brownie baking in our future :)

~laughing~

Nothing more wonderful than a Gathering of Old Hippies!  Now where did I put that damned Lava Lamp?

No book of the week...this. But definitely something everyone should add to their bucket list if you've never seen it. A theatrical production of Thornton Wilder's: Our Town.

This may be the pinnacle of playwriting.

Leaving all with a thought for today:

The Rest of the Story

Because...well...there always is one.

The Matching Tattoos? The Timing?  The oldest son has a wonderful job opportunity. Hopefully, a career maker. Couple this with the fact that he has been wandering aimlessly (and at times self-destructively) since the divorce...and it makes perfect sense. Is wonderful.

The catch.

 An over 1500 mile relocation. Hard on the "grands". Impossible for their Moms to comprehend. And difficult for me, as well. So used to seeing each other about once a week...forever. With all the technology available to us...it still doesn't take the place of your kid's hug.

 ~sigh~

 The breaking news was chaotic. Met with anger on the part of the kids Moms...and disbelief (and yes...anger) on my part. Nobody accepts a big change with a smile.
 Ever.

 But we don't love our children just when the sun shines. In fact, the darkest days are usually when they need us the most. And they don't live their lives to meet our specifications.Perhaps, when the dust settles this will benefit the kids, financially. Perhaps, it will give them summer memories with their Dad in the ocean and on a beach. Perhaps, I will travel to see him later, as well. It is too early to know.

But for today, and for always...no matter where we are...we can look at the little trampoline dude...bounce him up and down a couple times...and remember the love and laughter of that afternoon together. And all of the others we spent over 25 years. A way of reaching acceptance. Of making an impossible situation a little more possible.

 Of saying (and meaning)

"I wish you only the best."

Hoping the adults (-my son included-) will all take a deep breath and say/do what is best for their children. Words in anger can be horribly destructive. And there have been many. We are all human. 

Knowing I will be there for my "grands" in any way possible.

Breathing.
And with a bounce or three of the trampoline...even smiling, again.






 
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.


                                                         Kahlil Gibran

A Cup of "Randomness"

Ok...so this is what started it all.

Posted it on my eldest's Facebook page this morning on a whim. We had been discussing getting a small "matching" tattoo for a while. And, whereas I have three small pieces (all hidden from view). He has chest pieces and back pieces and one full sleeve and a good start on the other. His tattoo guy is on speed dial...lol...
 And this guy is good. He could literally "tat" the Mona Lisa on your back (mysterious smile and all) and make her look spectacular.

Anyway after sharing the above Internet Poster...I immediately got this message back

"Let's do it!"

Me:   Really?

"I'm calling Kyle as I type."

Me:   Really??

And he must have him on speed dial because by noon there was a rap at the door...followed by James, Kyle and his entire "kit boxes" of equipment.

                                  "To Your Door Tattoo"

Okay...after apologizing to the tattoo guy for what must have been his most mundane request...ever...and promises to call him when I get my real piece done later...the buzzing began.

In minutes...amidst much laughter...and of course video of the little dudes "leaping"- we had matching palm tats. The little dude...the trampoline and each of them is holding a bright red heart!

A link (and a smile) for a lifetime.
                                    The little trampoline dude!

A Month of Sundays II

And...we're back to Sunday!

The second now in our "...reclaim a day..." project, and I must admit looking forward to it last night!

Watched the sun rise from the snuggly warmth of my quilts...with the Tucker-cat still curled tightly in a ball on the pillow (purring) beside me. A hot cup of tea with honey and a 1937 leather-bound Italian novel "Cristo in Calcestruzzo"  (Christ in Concrete) recommended by a book club friend. And is there any sweeter smell to a bibliophile than worn leather and foxed pages. This copy bearing annotations in the broad borders from another time...making it even better.

Near Memphis, Angie says Spring is nearly there. Already enjoying temps in the 60's and sometimes even 70's. Putting together her Spring Box today...including many of the seeds dried and saved from last summer's garden. And Chocolate, of course. Who can garden without chocolate?

Still winter here. Expecting another burst of snow tonight. All of my gardening confined to paper and pen and catalogs at the moment. Still... ~dreaming~ and it is coming together nicely.

Today...not a to do day, though. Today is a to be day. Realizing that years ago I did not have the luxury of giving myself a day of "sweet nothing" for there were always obligations, needs, wants of others to consider. Not bad. Just a different stage of life.

This is the comfort stage.

And to go along with being comfortable wanted to share a recipe I found this morning:

Old Fashion Dark Gingerbread

 
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

In small mixing bowl cream together 1/2 cup butter...2/3 cup sugar...and 1 cup dark molasses.

In a large bowl sift together 2 1/2 cups flour...and one teaspoon each of baking soda, cinnamon, ground ginger, and ground cloves.

Add creamed ingredients to flour and spice mixture with 2 whole eggs and 1 cut hot water.

Beat until smooth.

Pour mixture in 9 x 13 baking pan and sprinkle top with additional granulated sugar for a nice sweet crust.

Bake until center is set and springs back from touch.

Best served warm with real butter or a dollop of sweetened whipped cream. 

Enjoy!



Thinking of things that are amazing...check this out...

                  Presenting the 2014 Chevrolet (return to the Stingray) Corvette.
                                                One Sexy Beast
                                                        of a
                                                         Car





And it's even in my colour!

A Cup of Flu, Guns and Conspiracy...oh my...

The flu season is here.

And although the above picture made me laugh out loud...this year's strain is no laughing matter. As of this morning in Indiana 17 kids have died of this flu. These weren't kids that were sickly or with compromised immune systems. These were healthy, robust kids. One of them happened to be the daughter of an acquaintance/former co-worker in Rockville. Healthy and happy and fine one moment. Flu-ish and achy for a day. Extremely high fever and hospitalization the next day...and then gone. Just like that. 

Sometimes I wonder if the same vaccines we create in the attempt to thwart influenza are inadvertently causing the viruses to mutate...become stronger...in order to infect a host...resulting in a Super-Flu much like the indiscriminate/over use of antibiotics has given rise to Super Bacteria.

Frequent hand-washing. Masks. Avoiding crowds. Alcohol gel. And yes, perhaps even vaccination, seems to be the way to go this year.

Stay well.

On an unrelated note...it seems that our National Obsession with firearms (whether pro or con)...has recently given way to our National Obsession with Fallen Celebrities (now known as The Snipping of the Bright Yellow Bracelet Day)...and is vying with headline space for Newton...and a new (and fairly disgusting) Conspiracy Theory. 

Seriously, people?

Face it. President Obama was in a "...damned if you do...damned if you don't..." position to begin with.

If he has done nothing "THEY" would have screamed

 "Look at that...20 little children dead and he doesn't CARE."

Because he did act "THEY" are screaming  

"See...we told you...he is coming for your guns!". 

I am glad that he is attempting to do something.
No, it isn't the perfect plan. No, it won't drop the crime rate to zero...ever. But if it keeps one theater...one crowded school or auditorium...from turning into a massacre, I will consider it successful. I have a hard time understanding why anyone outside of our military would ever need/use a weapon that fires 30 or more rounds in 27 seconds. One of the Sandy Hook second graders was shot 11 times. Eleven rounds in ONE child probably less than 3 and 1/2 feet tall. Take a minute and imagine THAT being your son or daughter or grandchild. Then ask yourself- if it was...wouldn't you expect/demand that something CHANGE.

And because we do have the "attention span of high speed dryer-lint" (Thank you, Will Durst) in only days the National Discussion this week turned from Guns to Celebrities That Let Us Down (and the people who loved them- but now hate their guts) as Lance Armstrong revealed that he had been "doping" all along...right there on Oprah...Mon Dieu!  Is nothing sacred? So everybody...in an attempt to show him...or show disgust...or just follow the herd (pretty much the same thing they did when they started wearing the things) cast off their LiveStrong Bracelets in a flurry of great snips...because...by gosh it was never about the good that LiveStrong has done or the hope it has given so many cancer patients...it is about the connection to a now disgraced celebrity who must be treated like a leper.  Let's get our priorities straight. 
 ~sigh~

And lastly...and probably the most distressing...the rise of the Newton Conspiracy Theories.
 Seriously people, WTH?

And we've all heard them. The whole thing was a HOAX. The children were never killed. The Government staged the entire thing. It was a show and Emily's father was a paid actor. They did it just to get our guns. The guy that took the children in down the road was an actor/paid by the government/pedophile- choose one.

OMFG...

People...there are a lot of Conspiracy Theories floating around in our Nation.
Most of them are harmless enough. Nobody gets hurt. Maybe your friends roll their eyes at dinner...but they don't devastate people whose world has already been destroyed before their eyes.

Do you believe that THEY are hiding something out there in Area 52?   Fine.

Do you believe that we REALLY didn't land on the Moon?   Harmless enough.

Do you think the JFK Assassination was part of a much larger cover-up?  Why not?

Do you believe that Madonna REALLY has talent?   Sad...but still hurts no one but yourself. And maybe others you inflict her on.



But when you start attacking parents that have just buried the bullet-riddled bodies of their six and 7 year old children. Or harassing first responders or people who were just trying to help, through an inconceivable massacre...then you are WORSE than the person who pulled the trigger, in my opinion.

If you can't find a way to help out...at least have the decency to shut up.

Yeah...yeah...I know...breathe. 

The book this week: This Living Hand by biographer Edmund Morris. Best known for his biographies of Theodore Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan. A 2012 Random house release- it is a series of essays. Although it had its moments, for the most part it was verbose and hard to read. Often found rambling rather disjointedly. This was a book in search of a decent editing.
Not recommended.

And a bright spot of news as Sir Elton John and David Furnish-John are parents again...to another bouncing baby boy Elijah Joseph Daniel Furnish-John born in California on January 11th, 2013.

                                     ...yep...they're parents alright...