What does Yom Kippur have to do with me...a practising Zen Buddhist?
Well when you have many friends who are Jewish, knowing your way around the loxs and gefilte fish strewn waters comes in handy. And realizing that everyone isn't a cookie-cutter cut out of everyone else isn't a bad thing either. So officially "Yenta-by-Proxy" here is a Shiska's Yom Kippur.
From Friday at Sundown until Saturday at Sundown during Atonement the following things are forbidden:
No Eating or Drinking.
No Wearing of Leather Footwear.
No Bathing or Washing.
No Perfumes or Lotions.
No Sexual Relations.
Yesterday was a Fast Diet Day anyway...and 500 calories is almost like no food...okay?
No???
Shit. This may be tougher than I thought. If nobody sees me eat the BLT is it still...
oh right..."The Pork Clause"...double jeopardy...
~ sigh ~
Maybe I'll just nap, okay?
I'm pretty sure the only cow my shoes have ever seen was safely behind a farmer's fence.
I'm good on this one. Score!
The whole no bathing (and then no lotions and perfumes...which I assume includes deodorants/antiperspirants as well) thing...no can do...and by sundown on Saturday y'all going to be a fairly "gamy lot"...just sayin'...
Sex. I'm a widow. It's been so long I don't even remember who gets tied up.
Okay...I lied.
I remember.
And then there is the whole Book OF Life and Confession thing.
The Rabbi seemed fairly alarmed when I told him that the last night of Hanukkah I toasted some leftover marshmallows over the Menorah.
His distress increased markedly when I muttered something about "...maybe being able to say a few Hail Mary's and a couple Our Father's...and calling it a day."
Then there were the things that you could do:
Pray.
And praying for a Bacon Cheeseburger, Fries and a Chocolate Shake APPARENTLY...does not count.
Who knew?
Repent.
This is where the whole confession thing comes in...let me tell you...after going without food...shoes...bathing...deodorant and sex for an entire day...not only would I confess...hell...I'd make stuff up.
I would make things up about YOU as well...okay?
Give to Charity.
Er....would this be a bad time to say that I'm STILL waiting on that Cheeseburger?
In short...after the longest 24 hours of my life...I came to realize that my friends were so much tougher than me.
I mean Chuck Norris has nothing on these guys!
This is "Goodyear Steel Belted Radials" tough.
FORD TOUGH.
And I "get" the rules, too.
After all...a day without comforts/food makes you realize how much you have to be grateful for...and the Pray...Repent...and Giving isn't that far off from Meditation...Forgiveness (yourself and others)...and Love and Light (Metta) Charity and Compassion.
So maybe deep down people (and other religious beliefs/philosophies) are more similar than different.
Maybe deep down we all are.
(...now pass the bacon and no one gets hurt...)
Arlene and Larry, Sal and Diane, Carol and Vicki, Debbie and Hal...
Happy New Year!
