Tuesday, August 12, 2014

O Captain...My Captain...




O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
    But O heart! heart! heart!
      O the bleeding drops of red,
        Where on the deck my Captain lies,
          Fallen cold and dead.
  
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
    Here Captain! dear father!
      This arm beneath your head;
        It is some dream that on the deck,
          You’ve fallen cold and dead.
 
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
    Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
      But I, with mournful tread,
        Walk the deck my Captain lies,
          Fallen cold and dead.

                                                          ~Walt Whitman



Yesterday...Robin Williams lost his battle with The AbyssAnd the light of the World became a bit less bright.

His comedy spanned the Generations...Some remembering Mork and Mindy fondly...others Peter Pan or Batty Koda...Aladdin or Mrs. Doubtfire...Patch Adams and Good Will Hunting...Dead Poet's Society and Fisher King...or the chilling and sad role in 24 Hour Photo...To me he will always be "Mr. Keating", showing us how to find our own voice in this world.

 Carpe Diem 

Young or old...we seemed to grow up with him. Although, like Hook's nemesis he seemed ageless...alive...never growing up. And that was his charm.  Although he was not our neighbour and we had never met him...he was everyman...and seemed a part of the family.  He made us laugh. Sometimes in our darkest hour.

Last night we sat shocked Stunned. It MUST be a mistake. Perhaps one of those terrible misinformation hoaxes like they had going around with Morgan Freeman for a while.

Sadly, confirmation was a mouse-click away. Then we were left only to wonder collectively if someone like Robin Williams could fall into the Abyss...what possible chance did we have? 

Winston Churchill referred to it as The Black Dog.

Joyce Carol Oates called it the Basilisk

Freddie Prinze, Heath Ledger, Marilyn Monroe, 
Kurt Cobain, and so many many more (both in and out of the public eye) have found themselves staring into it...moments before ending their own lives.  

Depression.

And it doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. Black, White, Yellow or Red or some shade in-between. Woman or man. Democrat or Republican. It strikes terribly and indiscriminately. It is the true equal opportunity killer.

In his 2009 film, The World's Greatest Dad, he gave the following sage advice

"If you are that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”































Sound advice...but seemingly impossible when the world seems to have shrunk to the size of the dark bubble you are trapped in...when it seems that no matter what it is never going to get better or you are never going to stop hurting.
















It is hard to know why he made the decision. Maybe after 63 years of the battle he was just tired. Tired of the isolation...of the sadness...the pain.

Over and over today I have read remarks about how selfish his decision was. As anyone who has ever stood looking over that edge can tell you...selfish doesn't enter into it. Other people don't enter into it. There is just You...and the Darkness...beckoning quietly for you to
Jump.

And sometimes you do.

When suddenly leaping seems less 
frightening than perpetually
standing and peering
 over the edge.

Feeling so sad for his widow and the children left behind...and selfishly sad for myself...inconceivable that someone who touched so many lives and made so many laugh. Some in their darkest hours...left this world feeling so utterly
 Alone


We must be there for one another. We must reach out. And if you are staring into the abyss...talk to someone....anyone...clergy...family...a friend...a stranger...call the Suicide Hotline if need be
 (1-800-273-TALK)





"Genie...I set you free"