Thursday, June 28, 2018

Virtual Australia: Aussie Slang


Face it...for most of us the only Australia Slang we've encountered was from
Steve "Crikey" Irwin or Crocodile "Thas not a knife" Dundee.

Here of some of the more often used words and phrases.

  1. A Cold One – Beer
  2. Arvo – Afternoon
  3. Aussie Salute – Wave to scare the flies off
  4. Bail – To cancel plans. ‘Bruce bailed’ = he/guy isn’t going to turn up.
  5. Barbie – Barbecue
  6. Bathers – Swimsuit
  7. Beauty! – Great!
  8. Billabong – A pond in a dry riverbed
  9. Billy – Teapot (In the Outback on the fire) cooking pot
  10. Bloody – Very. Used to extenuate a point
  11. Bloody oath – yes or it's true. “You right mate?” “Bloody Oath”
  12. Bludger – Someone who’s lazy, generally also who relies on others (when it’s someone who relies on the state they’re often called a ‘dole bludger’)
  13. Bogan – This word is used for people who are, well let’s say, rednecks. Or, if you like, just call your friends a bogan when they are acting weird.
  14. Booze Bus – Police vehicle used to catch drunk drivers
  15. Bottle-O – Bottle Shop, basically a place to buy alcohol
  16. Brekky – Breakfast
  17. Brolly – Umbrella
  18. Bruce – An Aussie Bloke (guy)
  19. Budgie Smugglers – Speedos (lol! I love this one)
  20. Bush – The Outback.
  21. Cab Sav – Cabernet Sauvignon
  22. Cactus – Dead, Broken
  23. Choc A Bloc – Full
  24. Choccy Biccy – Chocolate Biscuit
  25. Chook – Chicken
  26. Chrissie – Christmas
  27. Ciggy – a Cigarette
  28. Clucky – feeling maternal
  29. Cobber – Very good friend. ‘Alright me ‘ol cobber’.
  30. Coldie – Beer. ‘Come over for a few coldie’s mate.’
  31. Coppers – Policemen
  32. Crikey – an expression of surprise
  33. Crook – Being ill or angry; ‘Don’t go crook on me for getting crook’
  34. Cunt – Used when exchanging pleasantries between close friends or family member. If someone calls you the “C” word in Australia, breathe a sigh of relief… it means you have entered the mate zone.
  35. Dag – Someone who’s a bit of a nerd or geek.
  36. Daks – Trousers. ‘Tracky daks’ = sweatpants (tracksuit pants)
  37. Deadset – True
  38. Devo – Devastated
  39. Drongo – a Fool, ‘Don’t be a drongo mate’
  40. Dunny – Toilet
  41. Esky – An insulated container that keeps things cold (usually beers)
  42. Fuck Me Dead –  that surprises me...often shortened to "fuck me""
  43. Fair Dinkum – ‘Fair Dinkum?’ … ‘Fair Dinkum!’ = Honestly? … Yeah honestly! Can also mean a fair deal
  44. Flannie / Flanno – flannelette shirt
  45. Frothy – Beer
  46. G’day – Hello
  47. Galah – an Australian cockatoo with a reputation for not being bright, hence a galah is also a stupid person.
  48. Going off – busy, lots of people
  49. Good On Ya – Good work
  50. Goon – the best invention ever produced by mankind. Goon is a cheap, boxed wine that will inevitably become an integral part of your Australian backpacking experience.
  51. Hard yakka – Hard work
  52. Heaps – loads, lots, many
  53. Hoon – Hooligan (normally driving badly!)
  54. Knickers – female underwear
  55. Larrikin – Someone who’s always up for a laugh, bit of a harmless prankster
  56. Legless – Someone who is really drunk
  57. Lollies – Sweets
  58. Maccas – McDonalds
  59. Manchester – Sheets / Linen
  60. Mongrel – Someone who’s a bit of a dick
  61. Mozzie – Mosquito
  62. No Drama – No problem / it’s ok
  63. No Worries -No problem / it’s ok
  64. Nuddy – Naked
  65. Pash – to kiss
  66. Piece of Piss – easy
  67. Piss Off – go away, get lost
  68. Piss Up – a party, a get together and in Australia – most social occasions
  69. Piss – (To Piss) to urinate
  70. Pissed – Intoxicated, Drunk
  71. Pissed Off – Annoyed
  72. Rack Off – The less offensive way to tell someone to ‘F Off’!
  73. Rapt – Very happy
  74. Reckon – for sure. ‘You Reckon?’… ‘I reckon!’
  75. Rellie / Rello – Relatives
  76. Ripper – ‘You little ripper’ = That’s fantastic mate!
  77. Root Rat – someone who enjoys sex
  78. Rooted – Tired
  79. Runners – Trainers, Sneakers
  80. Servo – Service Station / Garage (...the Aussies do this with many words. Shorten it and add an O at the end...)
  81. Sheila – A woman
  82. Shoot Through – To leave
  83. Sickie – a sick day off work, or ‘to pull a sickie’ would be to take a day off when you aren’t actually sick
  84. Skull – To down a beer
  85. Slab – A carton of beers
  86. Snag – Sausage
  87. Stiffy – Erection
  88. Stoked – Happy, Pleased
  89. Straya – Australia
  90. Strewth – An exclamation of surprise
  91. Stubby – a bottle of beer
  92. Stubby Holder – Used so your hands don’t get cold when holding your beer!
  93. Stuffed – Tired
  94. Sunnies – Sunglasses
  95. Swag – Single bed you can roll up, a bit like a sleeping bag.
  96. Tea – Dinner
  97. Tinny – Can of beer or small boat
  98. Thongs – Flip Flops. Do not be alarmed if your new found Australian friend asks you to wear thongs to the beach. They are most likely expressing their concern of the hot sand on your delicate feet.
  99. Tucker – Food. ‘Bush Tucker’ tends to be food found in the Outback such as witchety grubs.
  100. U-IE- Make a U-Turn while driving.
  101. YA-  you 
  102. Youse- plural of you. 

So...there you have it. 

  Soon we will begin our trek into The "Straya" Outback!



Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Virtual Australia: Why Does Everything in Australia Want To Kill Me?


From the beautiful (but deadly) Blue Ringed Octopus...where even a casual brush with his strong neuro-toxins means death.

To the Australian Funnel Web Spiders...not so cute but whose bite is also neuro-toxic


And 1198 other things in between that can kill you, Australia might just be the Land Down Under- better suited for Virtual Travel.

The explanation for this concentration of highly venomous arachnids, lizards and snakes (some of whom live in other places around the world where they are less toxic) is speculated to be environmental adaptation.

Less effort needed in the extreme heat and baking sun of the arid desert outback.  One scrape or bite or nip and prey is dropped.

It makes sense.

They lost me at 2,500 species of spiders in Australia...okay. Of which some are deadly poison.

The venom of the poisonous bugs, snakes, lizards, mammals and mollusk tend to fall into one (or a combination) of these categories

Neurotoxins: Attacks your central nervous system. Causing seizures, respiratory failure or heart attack and death.

Proteolytics: Causing the collapse of cell wall structure.

Coagulopathic: Can work either way...can cause you to hemorrhage...or in some instances and some predators cause your blood to coagulate.

Myotoxic:  Causing paralysis.

Cytotoxic:  Causes tissue breakdown.

Saltwater crocs, several man-eating sharks, deadly octopi, and 21 of the world's 25 most deadly snakes.

Oh, and killer spiders and bees.

And to think a Sting-Ray took Steve Irwin out...after avoiding THESE all his life.

Even the ants here want to kill you.

                                      The Australian Red Jack Jumper

 Their sting can (and does) produce anaphylactic shock in humans if you are unfortunate enough to be stung by many at one time.

And they jump. 

Some of the more deadly snakes include

                                                The Coastal Taipan

This snake is deemed the third most deadly snake in the world. Its venom is highly neurotoxic with death occurring in less than 30 minutes from the bite.  To  complicate matters the bite is nearly painless when it happens, and many do not even know they have been bitten until it is too late. Untreated mortality rate is 100%.


                                    Australian Eastern Brown Snake


Although there are non-poisonous Eastern Brown Snakes throughout the world...this is NOT one of them. The 2nd most poisonous snake in the world
The venom of this snake is a mixture of Neurotoxins and Blood Coagulants.
Nice.

                                                           Gwadar
The Most deadly snake in Australia is this black-headed beauty.  Its bite is a toxic combination of Neurotoxins, Pro-coagulants, and Nephrotoxins (which shut the kidneys down)

And there are 18 other deadly snakes as well.

The Redback Spider

Which looks suspiciously like our Black Widow...except without the anti-venom administered this one actually WILL leave you a widow or widower.


The European Honeybee is an imported danger of Australia. These tend to be viciously defensive of their hives and will attack in large groups if the hive is threatened. In large numbers their sting causes anaphylactic shock and death if not immediately treated.

And this guy.

Known as a Paralysis Tick.

Mostly fatal only to babies and small mammals (dogs/cats) this tick causes paralysis and lives in the bush areas of Australia.

Okay..I will avoid Blue Ringed Octopi and the Desert and the Bush and just hang out in the ocean.



                                                        Bull Shark



                                                      Great White
                                          (...we love tourists...send more...)


                                                      Tiger Shark


And, of course, Box Jelly-fish




FINE...maybe I will just check out the Coastal Mangroves and pick up a few shells, then.



                                          Saltwater Crocodiles
                                       "We've been waiting for YOU"

                                    The Deadly Poisonous Cone-shell
                                         (well...the critter inside anyway)




Oh..For Fuck's Sake!!!!

Displaying the charms of Virtual Travel, once again.

Because everything here really IS out to kill you. 







Soon...Aussie Slang.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Tis the Drive-by Season...James' New Muscle Car...and WHY is There A CAVEMAN in my Suite?


Heard a faint tapping at my door late last night and

"Ding-Dong Ditch"

The Cucumber and Zucchini abandonments have begun!

LOL!

The half-a-dachshund sized zucchini destine to be both grated and sliced for future moist cake-like zucchini bread,  and deep fried and parmed for dipping in marinara.

The huge looks-like-an-oversized-marital-aid cucumber soon to be sliced with onions, vinegar, sugar, water and a touch of salt for immediate gratification in the form of the omni-present refrigerated bowl of cucumbers and onions.

This is a summer mainstay in Indiana.
 I think there may actually be a law.

An earlier brunch this week with Chris and Don . Sandwiches from Almost Home and Political Chat for Hours.

Hard to beat good food, great company and politics.

James and Brenden by early this morning with breakfast sandwiches...installing a dimmer switch and showing me his new ride...saying

"...this is my 'Cuda, Mom"

in reference to a late friend of our's 1972 Hemi-Cuda- years ago.

James' new baby is an older Camaro. The interior is newly restored and perfect...all it needs is paint, now.

"Maybe Purple Haze"


Which, according to the Great Gazoogle...will look like this.


He has always found the most amazing muscle cars!
Since he was old enough to drive them.
Barn finds. Craig's List. Buddies cars. 
He would seek them out, and then buy them, fix them up and make them awesome again.









And he took time to take me for an "0h-mi-god hang onto your ass" ride through a back-road straightaway this morning. I love the feel of these older models.

The suck you back into your seat, tired squealing on the take off, throaty rumble of the engine that announces itself long before you even see the car. 

Perfect for he and Nicole's date-nights.

And no baby car-seat in it....

EVER.

~laughing~ 

So, I avoided a huge crisis...or at least a shock of my lifetime today.

John and I planning a Mid-July Adventure...small trip and getaway. Both of us checking the sights...securing hotel reservations...you know the drill.

When we tossed around the idea of an in room hot tub for one night.

And both went to work on this additional quest.

In the middle of the afternoon just as we were having very little luck with our search I managed to find one near the area we were staying...on Priceline.

We discussed it and went ahead with the reservations. 

Since it was a well known named hotel I didn't think twice about it. Even thought there was no picture of the room.

Executive Suite

That is how it was billed.

Later I decided to call the physical hotel and ask if I could get an idea of the room, accessibility and such...and sooooooooooooooooo glad I did.

I knew maybe we were in trouble when he answered my questions with

"No there is no mini-fridge, microwave or coffee maker in this room."

Isn't this an Executive Suite...this was billed as one.

And certainly priced as one.

"Yes...this would be one of our Themed Rooms"

(...unless you are 18 and drunk...this is never a good sign...)

Then he sent a picture of Our Executive Suite.

Apparently the Executive they were talking about was Fred Flintstone.

(...I can laugh now...because they managed to change us to a really nice room that normal people wouldn't GASP when they walked into...before...this wasn't even a little funny, okay?)

Our Executive Suite was a Cave themed room...complete with tiger striped carpet, faux zebra furnishings and those Flintstone curtains...with a hot tub tucked in a cave like grotto in a corner.

It looked a lot like I expect the Jungle Room looks at Graceland.





No...just no.


Not even sure that candles everywhere would redeem this.

Executive Suite during the Stone Age, I am guessing.

(update...after a laughter-filled discussion and "Well, we were looking for an adventure" and possibly because we are BOTH a bit crazy...the cave-themed room is back on...and the poor hotel manager was rolling his eyes so hard you could hear them over the phone...it will be memorable...besides...yeah...hot tub...) 

After all...anyone can stay in a nice normal hotel room...lol!

 
Anyway...

This Week's Book:


The book that lifted Anthony Bourdain out of the New York restaurant scene...and into our living rooms.

Since his untimely death, I must admit having started the CNN Parts Unknown Series back at Episode 1, and am doing a re-watch of the seasons. Nothing binging.

Just an episode each night.

What a loss.

~sigh~

About this book. I love the irreverent voice he gives his writing in this balls-to-the-wall expose of behind the restaurant scenes...and no...I will never ever ever order the fish on a Tuesday again.

Really.

Giving incredible life to his characters (co-workers) Stephen and Adam Last-Name-Unknown, among others...you can see them...smell them...laugh along with them.

Sous chef practical jokes are brutal!

Check out the one about the missing sous chef, saran-wrap, pig's blood and the walk in freezer.

Who knew that most of the sous chefs, runners and even some of the chefs were actually mobsters, ne'er-do-wells, and pirate-types.

I can see why this book launched an amazing career.

Excellent, gritty, read.

The Movie of the Week: 





It is a Dinosaur Movie, okay, people?

It isn't War and Peace.

It isn't factual or a documentary or exist for anything more that entertainment.

So just enjoy, and don't dissect it!

A return to the previous Jurassic World (now overgrown and destroyed) theme park as a volcano threatens to make the un-extinct dinosaurs...er...extinct again.

A couple of great cameos by Ian Malcombe as he testified in front of Congress that we definitely need to let them go extinct again. 

(...getting chomped by a T-Rex years ago may provide a certain degree of prejudice here...I'm thinking....)

Claire and "I'm an action figure now" Owen team up with Zia (vet) and Franklin (I.T. Guy) to SAVE the dinos after Congress rejects the idea to save them.

Franklin is hilarious. Love this character!

But it is never that easy...

There is an early plot twist as we learn the late Hammond had an estranged brother Benjamin (played beautifully and credibly, if a bit short lived, by James Cromwell) 

Benjamin apparently lost his beloved daughter in a car wreck during the beginning of the Jurassic Park days...and used the new found technology to CLONE a replica of her...which he calls his grand-daughter.
No wonder John Hammond was a bit miffed.

And En Gen has nothing on the bad guys who want to get the dinosaurs off the island this time...to sell them and the technology to the highest bidder.

Like the Indominus Rex of Lost World there has been a whole lot of gene-splicing going on, too...

Creating a whole new bad-as-hell critter.

The Indoraptor


There is a scene with this monster and Benjamin's grand-daughter (in her room at night) that...if your young children watch it...they will have nightmares until they are in their 20's.

And there is lava.

Lots of lava.

Lots and lots of lava.

And apparently whoever came up with the lava scenes in the film really didn't understand the heat involved with REAL lava...as we see it coming within inches of people and their clothes and hair NOT spontaneously going up in flames...and our hero Owen actually having a hand dip in the stuff during a fall and scramble...and miraculously...he still has an intact hand.

Yeah...it is a dinosaur movie, okay?

A lot of action. A lot of teeth. A lot of bad guys. The Return of Blue...our favorite velociraptor.

One scene where they are in a compound with Bad Guys shooting at them, Indominus Rex trying to Eat them, Earthquakes from the eruptions, and lava dripping through the roof I  thought to myself

"A Sharknado...all this scene needs is a Sharknado..."

Seriously.


Remember the car-type globes from Jurassic World?

At one point while trying to escape the magma our heroes bounce over a waterfall into the water below...kind of Extreme Zorbing.

All in all...it was a great movie.

The bad guys get eaten.

The good guys win...sort of.

The Dinosaurs get freed in The States, assuring us there will be a sequel.

And the creators made a metric butt-load of money.

It's a Win-Win.

Tell you who is NOT Winning...

Yeah...these guys.

Trump and Miller and Sessions decided to use their own policy to subvert an immigration law and separate children immigrating from Mexico from their parents...placing a couple thousand of them behind chain link cages that resemble dog kennel runs. These weren't border hoppers...they didn't swim across the Rio or pay some coyote to smuggle them into the USA. They weren't drug cartel, MI-13 members or mules.

These were families seeking a better life for their kids.

Seeking asylum.

Because that is WHAT America used to be.





So yeah...now we are know for Kids in Cages.

I'm just so proud.

Actually, I am. Of all the Resisters. Because after all of this broke...and once Trump realized that nobody but his slack-jawed ignorant base was buying the bullshit that the Democrats caused this...

And primarily because little Latino children in cages crying were terrible "Optics" politically only months away from Midterms the Orange Idiot quickly issued one of those EO's he is so fond of...and stopped any future separations.

Let us review.

This was essentially like setting your house on fire...deliberately.

Waiting until it was blazing high.

Then phoning the Fire Department, yourself...

Afterwards telling everyone how YOU saved your house by calling the fire department, and how brave and what a hero you are.

Got it.

SMH.

Now we're just waiting for all the kids to be reunited with their parents.

And waiting...and waiting....and waiting.

I'll tell you what, though...

Whereas, John Mueller may be this guy.

                                                      "I'm BATMAN"

 Attorney Michael Avenatti is more like THIS GUY


He may be a Merc with a Mouth...

But he is OUR Merc with a Mouth, okay?

Doing pro-bono legal work at the border to get these kids back with their parents.

The ACLU has already started a class action suit. 

and Midterms...you're joking right?  

Some of those assholes won't be able to get positions as dog-catchers after we are through.

And THAT is the point.

Because photos weren't bad enough...audiotape was released from one of the compounds where some of the very young children are detained...and there are 9 minutes of listening to sobbing and wailing children begging for their Papi and Mamita.

Dem. Rep. Ted Leiu played this on the floor (yesterday) loudly through speakers to all the Congress Members, with GOP Rep. Karen Handel attempting to stop it calling it Lack of Decorum.

He did not stop and the recording went on.

Decorum...when it is okay to separate tiny children from their parents and put them in cages...but you don't quite have the stomach to listen to the resulting terrified kids. 

GOP...and anyone who still supports this President and his Administration...and I mean this sincerely...

Fuck You.

See all of you at the Midterms and in 2020.

We're cleaning the House...and Senate.

And because, apparently, there just wasn't enough sadness this week-


Koko died yesterday.


~sigh~

More Anon.




































Friday, June 22, 2018

Virtual Australia: Adelaide's Got Balls


In Chicago we have Cloud Gate.


Know by the locals, and most of the rest of world travellers, simply as The Bean.

Rundle Mall in Adelaide has The Balls.

Also known as "Spheres" and "Mall Balls" 

The original artwork done by Bert Flugelman (who, incidently, did NOT create The Bean...BTW...) in 1977

The original name was

"On Further Reflection"

The sculpture is roughly 14 feet high by 6 feet wide.

Shoppers in Rundle Mall now use it as a meet-up area...a point of reference...just like Chicagoans do Cloud Gate.

"At 3:00, I'll meet you by The Balls"

Try saying THAT with a straight face.

Other things to do with "The Balls"

https://youtu.be/lr5tjuwMcWA

*Not recommended by local law enforcement.


Deep into Bryson's: In a Sunburned Country. Vivid descriptions of South's Outback.



Loved his intro into the arid barren land as he tells us

To Australians anything even vaguely rural, even wineries, are considered "the bush".  At some indeterminate point the bush becomes the outback.  Push on for another two hundred thousand miles and you are back in the bush again...then the city...then the sea. And that, my friends, is Australia.

Before we traipse out (even virtually) into this land of rust reds (Think Georgia), 140 degree temperatures (Think HELL), clay yellows (Think Mississippi), and sparse scrub (Think Nevada) there are a couple of things we will learn about first.

Our next missive will be

Everything Wants To Kill You In Australia

(...seriously...)

Shit you should know so you (if you actually go in REAL TIME in the future) don't die there straight-away.

Until then...





Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Virtual Australia: Adelaide, South



The capital of South: Adelaide.  This urban city was not a penal colony but a planned development.  Founded in 1836 for the free British immigrants, it was known as "The City of Churches" It was laid out in a grid pattern with five squares in the middle and a surrounding ring of greenspace (parks).

The city over time has grown into a misma of the old


sitting comfortably alongside the modern.


The stately elegance of the Thorngrove Manor Hotel


competing with the Ultra-modern design of the Waterlily Pavillion for touristb dollars.


The surrounding edges of Adelaide giving way to multiple wineries and more greenspace.

The locals refer to all this greenspace as it begins to meld into The Outback as The Bush.

Even this close to the urban sprawl 'roos hop merrily along, oblivious,  like our rabbits do in The States.

Tour of Adelaide 

https://youtu.be/gTaUIShldFI

Today we will see The Adelaide Botanical Gardens


The gardens cover 130 acres. It encompasses

The Palm House

The Rose Gardens

The Bicentennial Conservatory

The Santos Museum of Economic Botany

Today we will check them all out!


The Palm House (pictured above)

Inside


and from above


Thought to be the last of its kind, the Palm House is a completely restored German built (1875 and opened in 1877) Victorian Glass Greenhouse.

Tour

https://youtu.be/UKny2jNd5JA



The Rose Gardens

Planted in 1996.

 



Tour of the Rose Garden

https://youtu.be/Jl5a8DJsYOs
 

The Bicentennial Conservatory

Opened in 1989



Entrance


Inside


Tour

https://youtu.be/CoeEk_QFKU0




The Santos Museum of Economic Botany

Opened in 1881


and inside


Tour

https://youtu.be/Ib-EpBlMWUs


And the plans for a recently added Garden of Health (featuring healing herbs and plants)

No video available.

and Fountain.


I hope you have enjoyed today's adventure.

More anon.