Last year on May 15th, Jan passed away. She was my biological mother and she was 72 years old.
To be honest, I scarcely knew her. During the first 18 years this was not my fault. For the next 37...it certainly was. I didn't know her birthday, or her favorite color, or much of anything about her life. I wouldn't have recognized her voice if she would have called me on the phone. Which she didn't. When I reconnected with my brothers and sisters after her death last year I could offer them condolences on the loss of "their" Mother...but (having lost both of my grandparents, who raised me, years before) I found it impossible to process her loss as my loss...
As horrible as it sounds, I did not cry.
Until this morning.
My brother Mikey (who is also one hell of a stand-up comedian, artist, micro-brew connoisseur, singer and song-writer) wrote a serious song he titled "Eulogy" on an album last year entitled Red Letters. This morning I finally listened to it.
A year and a day after her death.
Eulogy
http://mikeymason.bandcamp.com/track/eulogy
A song in which he had inserted a couple of live answering machine messages from Our Mom.
With her final message I lost it completely. After a year and a day I finally "got it", and grieved the loss of a mother I never knew- but wish-like-hell I had given the chance.
In the past 10 years, the most valuable lesson I have learned is that whereas We Always Think We Have More Time...or Enough Time...We Don't.
Since 2002 I have lost (through death) 9 people who all were huge parts of my life...not including finding out in 2012 that my little Brother had died years before.
Most recently, my oldest childhood friend. I sat reflecting Sunday and was hit with the finality. The realization I will never pick up the phone to hear her voice again...laugh together again, or call to share our day's events...ever again in this life ...and it is sobering. We always think we have more time. That there will always be tomorrow. Even when life has shown us time and time again that this is not the reality of the situation. Our last conversation (because cell phones store such things) lasted 57:43 What the time/date stamp doesn't show is that we always ended our conversations with "Love you" and " Love you back, see you soon!". She was being released to home finally, and my youngest son had already offered a ride up when it happened.
Out of a lifetime of words...43 year of words...these would be the very last ones we would ever speak to each other.
Having both lost our parents, our husbands, a few relatives, lovers, siblings and in-laws we had learned how easily your last conversation with someone you love can be...well...the last one you may ever have.
Choose your parting words wisely.
And now for something entirely lighter...
Kit Harington (Jon Snow from Game of Thrones) made me laugh until I cried
in the following Interview...explaining the close guarding of the Secret of his Upcoming Revival in Season Six...
https://youtu.be/sn8ptplqQ38
A MUST SEE...
Kit...Ser Davos is right...you're just fooking eye-candy!
More Anon....
