Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A "Fifty Shades of White" Cup

                                           The Blizzard of 1947

Yeah...it's kind of like this...

Spring Proper may be only weeks away...but the tipping bulbs and readied flowerbeds and baskets are back under several inches of snow here. It appears I now live in Narnia and I can't find my way back to the damn wardrobe.

And taunted by my Coastal boys:

"Don't know what you're talking about Mom...it is 75 degrees and beautiful...oh and look who we met at the beach shop while we were buying shades!"




To quote Kevin "Bloody" Wilson,
 "It's enough to make you spew."

So it is back to a Winter Wonderland here in Indiana. Wonder being the operative word. As in...I wonder where the snow shovel is?
                                      I wonder what that lump on the porch is? 
                                      I wonder where the cat is.
                                      I wonder why we have to Spring Forward to DST when it
                                         is clearly still Winter?

That is right.
 Sunday...that hour that we bat back and forth like a seasonal game of Pong, disappears again till Fall.

                              (beep...boop....beep beep...boop)
  
 It is okay. Nowadays, with friends from Coast to Coast and across the pond in several directions...nobody really knows what time it is, anyway. Cue Chicago. Hell, with the global climate change...most of the time we can't even look out the window and be sure of the SEASON.

A surprising (to me) collection of books for the next three weeks. And keeping with the spirit of the whole thing.

"Thank you, Mrs. Nelson...and sorry about that e-mail asking you WTH Dane was doing dropping porn off on my breakfast table."

Call it pre-conceived notion, This from the writer who once read Rushdie for the sole reason that if someone is going to issue a fatwa over a piece of literary work...aren't you obligated as a fellow writer to read it.  ~sigh~
( The correct answer should have been "No." btw)

So when a family friend sat extolling the virtues of a certain trilogy that I have actively avoided like a Jackie Collins, Danielle Steele, or stack of Harlequin Romance Novels I nodded and smiled and was agreeable...but quietly inside was
laughing to myself, "Oh hell no." with a misplaced sense of literary smugness.

Yet on Sunday, kicking and screaming, I was dragged into the twisted world of Christian Grey.

And...yes...I really did send the e-mail. 

So...a review of the first book in the trilogy...a book I really wanted to scorn after all the ohmigod...gasp...and BDSM twitter...except...well...here goes:

Fifty Shades Of Grey by E L James.

This book is the first EVER novel by this writer. Worldwide Recognition. Not bad for your first attempt.  Dom/Submissive sexcapades aside...the psychological aspects of Fifty Shades are what make it an intriguing novel. Enter Christian Grey...who, as a child of a crack whore mother, was beaten, burned and abused by her pimp repeatedly before the age of four...then left locked in a room with her dead body until days later he was discovered half-starved.  Fast forward to a 15 year old Christian who (now adopted by a wealthy family) was seduced by a much older female family friend with serious issues. Resulting psychologically in the 27 year old Mr. Grey of our novel. The building of the perfect beast. The Fifty Shades being self-referential- describing himself as "...fifty shades of fucked-up..."  At times the writing is obviously immature- a first time work. Some of the sexual scenes are repetitive to the point of boring. And I have never met anyone outside of BATMAN who says "Holy...______________ (anything)  Especially during sex. The latter being far more distracting than entertaining. The BDSM was for the most part...pretty vanilla on the S&M spectrum. And while we're at it...3/4 of the gratuitous sex scenes could have been deleted and it would have been an exceptional book. The story and back-story was what elevated this from a twisted Harlequin Romance Novel to a book worth reading.  Looking forward to beginning the second book Fifty Shades Darker for next week. So if you haven't checked Fifty Shades out...keep an open mind...you may be pleasantly surprised! I certainly was.

And Mrs. Nelson...thanks for the "breakfast table porn"...laughing....and no...I will never look at an elevator the same way again. Oh...and I think my safe-word may have to be chocolate. <grin>

The return of winter-like weather resulting in a primal need to BAKE something. As always. So, thought I would share...as the house fills with the scent of coconut cream and meringue. One of my favorite pies.

Coconut Cream Pie with Meringue and Toasted Coconut Topping


In medium mixing bowl combine

1 cup of milk

3/4 cup of sugar

1/2 cup flaked coconut

2 whole eggs.

1 pinch salt.

1/2 teaspoon vanilla (or one vanilla bean scraped)

Turn into premade pie shell.


Meringue Topping

Whisk together three egg whites...1/4 cup of sugar...and a pinch of Cream of Tartar and salt until soft peaks form. Using spatula cover entire pie top with meringue before baking and sprinkle top evenly with additional flaked coconut.

Bake at 350 degrees until meringue and coconut are lightly toasted and center is set. About 25 -30 minutes.

Can be served warm or chilled.

Enjoy!

In World News...the Pope has now resigned...Chavez is dead and "Sequesteration" continues...shaking my head.

Come to think of it...at this point Mr. Grey seems almost sane.