It has taken a while to even write about this...so bear with me.
Remember at the end of last year when I was in such a deep funk and circumstances so bizarre that I remarked
"...no one could fathom them"
Hell, I couldn't even get my head around it.
Well here goes...
To understand what happened you have to reflect back to the story of Lazarus. No, not the department store...the biblical story.
Dead guy...walks out of tomb, Lazurus.
Yeah...it has been a lot like that.
On September 15th last year I received a call from my oldest childhood friend's caregiver telling me that she had suffered a massive heart-attack, and was gone.
Gone means a lot of things to a lot of different people, apparently.
The next day I would find out that the EMT's did in fact re-start her heart and she was placed on a vent...as she had no DNR in place.
At that time she was non-responsive, basically comatose and being kept alive through machines and tubes. At this point her caretaker stayed with her not leaving her side.
The doctors gave her no chance for recovery at all. In retrospect, obviously they didn't know PAM very well.
To make matters worse the Trustee over her Estate left to her by her father on his death (...did I bother to mention he was a lawyer???) decided to take matters into his own hands and file for Guardianship in Probate Court.
And got it.
Shakespeare was right. Let's kill them all.
His answer to the whole problem was to discontinue life support...pull the plug.
With no living family, and only her caretaker and I to say anything to the contrary...who would resist.
Her caregiver, Calvin, pretty much lived up at the hospital with her during those weeks of insanity. Keeping her comfortable, brushing her hair, insisting on TPN...
After saying my goodbyes, I kept in touch with her nurses and Calvin on the telephone...but really did not anticipate any change in condition.
Until the day she re-opened her eyes...started tracking...and squeezed his hand.
OMG!!!!!
In the midst of this the lawyer became The Guardian...the first thing he did was to refuse to let her caregiver or I back into the room, and we were to be given no further reports on her condition.
WTF.
The next thing he attempted to do was to discontinue life support.
My friend owes her life to Calvin, I, and Adult Protective Services.
The next day or two was a blur of phone calls for both of us...to the Hospital Administrator...to The ersatz lawyer/guardian...to our own lawyers...to the Probate Court judge that granted the Guardianship...and Adult Protective Services, of course...
Finally, an Emergency Meeting was granted.
The Nursing staff backed Calvin and I, saying that she was now responding appropriately, and that removal of the vent was tantamount to murder at this point. Adult Protective Services stated that The Guardian's refusal to let anyone in her room was isolation and illegal. They also blocked him from selling her property, euthanizing her animals (which her caretaker and wife had been caring for in her absence) or in any way dissolving the Estate.
All things he had said he was going to do.
Oh...and he no longer could make any decision to discontinue life support.
They stated that her lungs were very weak and removal of the vent was impossible...but through the use of a tracheotomy they could help get them stronger and her breathing on her own again.
So they did the trach.
By October she was moved to another nearby hospital that specializes in this type of rehabilitation.
By December she was able to wean more and more off the vent...but it was still necessary. Her lungs were getting stronger and she could communicate through the use of a white board. They were working with her with bites of solid food and she knew all of us when we walked into her room, and responded with a huge smile. And a silent laugh when I told her she had to hurry the process along or I was going to eat BOTH the lobsters myself on our combined birthdays.
They continued to work with her. Eventually she was weaned off the vent.
(...face it...some people will accomplish anything for a stuffed lobster dinner...)
At the end of January after Speech Therapy had been working with her, teaching how to speak with the trach...I received another phone call that made me cry.
After nearly 5 months of silence...I heard Pam's voice again...on the other end of the phone. Her surprise to me.
Once again...there really are no words.
Now they are working on restoring her muscles which have atrophied from non-use, and the eventual goal is to return to her home...caregiver and animals.
So yeah...it has been a Roller-Coaster Ride of Emotions...from crying and mourning her "death" to that moment...hearing her voice again...crying from happiness..and knowing she was going to make it.
And selfishly, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she made her next call to The Trustee/Ex-Guardian Lawyer...just to see his face.
Hearing "A Whiter Shade of Pale" playing somewhere.
I'm surprised the old guy didn't have his own heart-attack.
Anyway...so TODAY is the day...and in a few hours, albeit in her hospital room, Chris and I will arrive with the Birthday Lobsters...although I doubt they will allow the candles to be lit. Oxygen use and all of that.
Her's named Rufus this year...mine, Clyde.
And somehow I know, this year's lobsters will be the BEST of our entire friendship.
As an aside...she has explained her experiences, thoughts and feelings during the time she was essentially checked-out of life...not what you would expect, really.
No bright tunnel or white light. No fluffy angels or dead relatives. No pearly gates. Imagine a dream...a long pleasant dream. She could hear us talking. It wove into her dream in odd ways. When the staff was discussing the removal of the life support she said she was "...sitting on a bale of hay on the hillside...listening to them back and forth...watching them..." but to her surprise she said she really didn't feel anything positive or negative...it was more of a wait and see thing. She said at one point a lot of the pleasant memories of her life wove through the dream...that it was like re-living them again almost.
Fascinating.
So off in a bit with Chris to see Pam...and share another birthday together!
Have a Wonderful Weekend!
Celebrating 43 years of friendship...can't
let a little thing like dying get between
us (or our lobster dinners)
Love ya, sis!
