Saturday, December 10, 2016

A Flood in the Hallway...A Quasimoto Week...Preparing for Nicole's 31 Party...and Adventures of Biff (The Bad Shelf Elf)



Yeah...so you know what is really brilliant about back injuries?

How GOOD you feel when you wake up after an entire week and it has STOPPED hurting!

(...and in the interim...many GRAMS of Ibuprofen...) 

A Quasimoto week for me...that started on Monday. But to understand how I strained my back I would have to first go into detail about the FLOOD.

Yeah...it has been a long week.

On Monday Afternoon I walked into my apartment after a quick grocery trip to the sound of a waterfall in the general direction of my hallway. Since I do not actually OWN an indoor waterfall, it was obvious something was amiss. When I opened the door to my utility room the lower portion was (no exaggeration) filled like a bathtub, and it became apparent that a pipe had burst in the apartment ABOVE mine...with water literally gushing from above.

Holy Batshit!

The positives at this point would be

1. An Immediate Response from Maintenance.

2. The Pipe was not directly over anything that would be ruined (paperwork, furniture, central living area or bedroom)

3. I must have arrived home fairly soon after it had burst and although it was an inconvenience...it is nothing to what it would have been had I been gone for hours or overnight.

So there's THAT.

The Maintenance Crew were beyond wonderful...immediately turning off the water in the apartment above and later fixing the busted pipe. Bringing an industrial sized Shop Vac and sucking as much water (which had by now seeped into the living room...hall way and my bedroom carpet) They emptied the huge barrel 4 or 5 times. There was a LOT of water.

They brought in giant blowers to help dry the areas.

We would handle mold-proofing soon.

Black Mold is not your FRIEND.
It can (and will) kill you.

However...late at night...bare feet on still damp carpet...directly onto a slick bathroom floor...it became The Ice Follies.

Without the Ice.

Or the Gracefulness.

To my credit...I avoided the Fall.

Contorting, twisting, grabbing available handholds...and in the process wrecking my lower back muscles for the remainder of the week.

Unable to stand up straight.

This would be the Quasimoto part, in case you're wondering. 
I Needed a Bell Tower.

Never mind the fact that the first 3 days I had to live in my PJ's because it was impossible to managing taking them off or putting clothes on.

It really doesn't  dawn on you just how much you stretch, bend or otherwise move your lumbar area until every movement sends jolts of pain through you.

To put it all in perspective, I have an inoperable brain tumor...and I deal with the effects of it every day of my life. And overall, I don't bitch, whine or complain...but this muscle strain was on the pain scale of 1-10....an eleven...okay?

So this morning when I finally woke...and was able to even roll over without hurting...and able to stand up straight...and move without wincing or crying out (which seem to greatly distress the cat earlier on)...well THAT, my friends, is the beginning of a GREAT day.

As well as a hot soak in the bath, because...damn....

So...on the backside of The Great Flood of December 2016 now...and working to rid the house of the previously wet carpet pad (stench) with odor neutralizers...not cover ups

(thank you very much maintenance)

Hoping by the end of next week it will all be a wet, smelly, painful, inconvenient memory.

Invited to Nicole's  31 Bag Party next Saturday.
Dear God, now I KNOW I have crossed over the realm
to shoe and bag person...

Actually she is throwing it for a friend...and has added in a few twists of her own...making it a costumed pajama party and cookie exchange.

Okay...you got me with cookies.

We were discussing the costuming and pajamas, yesterday...she is doing the fuzzy pjs...braided pigtails...ribbons and pencilled on freckles.

WTH...if I'm going to do it...why not go balls-to-the-wall...

So...my ensemble will include horrible fuzzy fleece jammies...those HUGE pink sponge roller...whitish blue facial masque...that come-fuck-me-red lipstick (I think that might be the actual shade name) an unlit cigarette dangling from my lips...oh and tennies. Think 1960's MOM.

Give it up girls, I Win. 

She laughed her ass off and told me that is why she LOVED me!

Not going to put it together until I reach the house, though. God Forbid we get in an accident on the way. I would die while the police officer and emergency crew stood on the side of the road laughing until they cried.  This being so much worse than being caught in your raggedy underwear.

So, looking forward to it very much!

And, of course, there are cookies. I'll be bringing my batch.

I absolutely LOVE cookie exchanges!

Biff has been skating on very thin ice this week...see for yourself...


                                    Using the Produce for A Pilates Ball








                                                  Climbing the Ficus



                                        Helping Himself to The Wine





                                     And Finding My Chocolate Stash
                                 (...possibly the most egregious act of all!)




Bad Biff...Bad 
Bad Biff!


Monday we will continue with 
Our Discovery of HOME.